Monday, March 24, 2008 2:45 AM
The bad side of being poor... Nothing ever works out and no one truly understands u or what you're thinking.
I swear, I swear to god i don't want to say what i say tonight, but it just came out of my lips like i am being possessed. I cried deep inside, i cried not for me but for you. I think i tried too hard that i just don't know that is enough.
All i wanted was for you to be happy. I could not say no to you anymore for the past days and weeks as for i know, that it'll make you ignore me and keep quiet from me. I wanted us to be happy. I see lots of couple on the streets and town; joking, laughing and have their sweet moments. I really don't understand why we can't be like them. What is so different about them and us, about you and me. I swear i am not that bad of a guy. But some side of me which i wanted to portray to you but i can't.
We planned for Tuesday, but it didn't come. I was so excited about it but i have nothing to show and nothing to spend. I tried telling you to stop but i can't it just won't come out of my mouth. I know i had limitation, but i just can't break free of that. I really really want to spend the day with you and i think it just have to wait but i really don't know when.
So now i will be saving for you, i don't mind starving because i am used to it. I'll get that 300 for you, whether you re-module or not, this money i am saving is for you.
For the tops and red crumpler bag, i know you'll be getting it tomorrow.
This blog is not a sorry blog that i am writing. Because sorry is just a word of console and i know for what i have said and done is unforgivable.
I am poor, i prayed to god why i am this way. Maybe the answer is not clear, its lurching out there somewhere for me to find a true meaning to life. Maybe its you. There is choices in life and it have always been you on top.
PS: The money i gave you is not dirty money. I worked hard for it and you know its the last dollars i had left with me. So use it. Its for you.
